Wash Me Away
by Crystallinee
Summary: The strong feelings remains through everything. Only from our mistakes we can learn to live. But Sasuke can't. When the rain is falling down he remebers love and sorrow, yearning for the one who changed his life. ItaSasu, angsty love, some lemon.


******Wash Me Away**

**Warnings: boyxboy, lemon/some graphic details  
**

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Nobody ever made me feel this way. Nobody ever held my life in such a strong grip, caressing it softly. I'll bleed my whole heart out for you, because you will always be my life. Nii-san.

_"I'm not like you", Sasuke snapped. "I hate you."_

_So many confusing thoughts and emotions, spinning in his head. But he didn't protest when Itachi pinned him to the bed. Sasuke craved for every touch. It went straight through him, to his spine and back._

I wish I told you earlier, brother. Now it's ripping me to pieces.  
The words I never said, the feelings I never showed you.

_"Say you love me, Sasuke", Itachi panted and reached down for a kiss. "I want to hear it from your own lips."_  
_It was so sweet, filled with longing and desire._

_"…I love you."_

_Itachi thrust into him, ripping moans from their lips. He pounded Sasuke deep in the mattress, groaned slightly as he finally got to relieve his hard on. His hands were caressing his little brother, made the younger shiver and close his eyes, lost in the heavenly sweet sensations, tasting so softly in his mouth._

I never thought it would happen again, that you would come so close to me… that I would let you touch me in that way again… brother. I never let anybody else come so close to me, to actually brush my heart.

_"Mmm…" Sasuke's head fell back on the pillow, delirious with ecstasy._

_"Don't you hate me anymore?" Itachi teased, panting. Their bodies were deeply connected, the sweat running down their skin. A pulsing band was going through them, wove them closer by each momen_t.

Do you remember that, Itachi? What we did to ourselves? The love was too much.  
You craved for me, as you claimed my lips in a hard kiss. I never had the strength to say no.

_As their orgasms crashed down on them, Sasuke bit back a scream of pleasure._

That only you could make me feel that way… I should've known. That it would hurt me one day. The look in your eyes – always so painful, but still… addictive.  
It made my blood boil, my heart to leave my body to land in your hand.

_Panting, closed eyes, groans and satisfied lust, hanging in the air, surrounded them.  
So sweet, but a pleasure-filled pain. That pain always made me so damn horny._

You made me feel like a worthy human, nii-san. You made me feel alive, for the short time you were there. But when you had to go…  
You made me breath. But then I stopped breathing, because I had nothing.

Maybe I'm a masochist...

_"I must leave, Sasuke." He got his clothes on, leaving Sasuke in a sweaty mess on the bed. The younger became finally aware, and reached out for his brother. "No! Itachi, don't…" But the words died on his lips._

I used to know you so well… but where did you go, my nii-san? I never knew… that they would kill you.

You made me so happy. I hated you.. because I knew you would leave me someday.  
To clean me, you chose to sacrifice yourself. And I lost myself.

"Sasuke!"

Sasuke was brought from his memories, where he was standing and looking at the dark sky. He could feel that it would be pouring down rain soon.  
How it feels when your chest is empty… literally… there's no heart there any longer.

_You brought it with you, nii-san._

Naruto walked over to him, frowning upon seeing his friend's expression.

"Sasuke… you're an adult now. It's time to forget and move on."

Those words hurt.

"Naruto…" Sasuke calmly looked at the sky as the first drops began to fall. "You know I can't."

_You gave me wings, nii-san. You wanted me to use them and create my own life, outside of your reach. But when I look at the sky…_

_I know you're still there._

Sasuke's hand unconsciously gripped his shirt, where his heart should be. It hurt. It hurt everyday, every second. He could never shut out the pain, it was eating him whole.

"Naruto!" Sakura's penetrating call.

Sasuke had his back against her, but he knew she was standing there with her children, waving happily at Naruto and waiting for her husband to join her.

Naruto could get a life, but never Sasuke.  
Sasuke was tripped in the deepest rooms of his once exisiting heart, he would never surface again.

The rain was falling heavily, poured down, running through Sasuke's hair, wetting his clothes and cooling his skin down. His black eyes nevertheless stared at the heavy clouds, not afraid of the rain.  
He could feel Naruto looking at him, worried. "Sasuke."

"Go, Naruto."

"I know your loss hurt you, Sasuke, but it's been seven years."

Seven years. Sasuke was sixteen when his brother disappeared and never came back.

I know you will never be here again, but still, it feels like the rain is your touches, reaching into every part of my body. Only you, brother, can touch my dark heart, make it burst and bleed into your hands. I could never say no to a single of your sweet commands, never let you go.

_"Do you feel me Sasuke?" It was Itachi's word the first time they did it._

_Sasuke moaned, "yes—I… I feel you, inside of me…it feels…." He couldn't find the right word.  
"I will always be inside of you" Itachi told him. Sasuke twitched, at the mix of dirty and sweet words. "Not only this way, but in your heart."_

_Never forget me._

Sasuke felt Naruto leaving his side, sighing deeply and returning to his family.

Sasuke closed his eyes, imagined the raindrops be his brother's soft fingers, gently stroking his eyelids. Touching him so tenderly, still holding him so roughly. The clouds emptied from all water they had been carrying, and he wished that he could do the same. Alone in the rain, it was so easily to cry. But Sasuke didn't.

He kept it inside, let his unfallen tears eat his soul away, instead.

He waited for the rain to end. Waited… waited, until the last drops were running down his face, crystal clear. Sasuke slowly opened his eyes, wanted to tear his real heart out from his body. Wanted to see it crumple and rot on the ground.

It was gone. The clouds were light and white again, slowly drifting aside to reveal some blue sky. He despised the sun. It could never reach down to the bottomless frozen waters inside of him.  
The memories of Itachi was like dreams, returning some times and then were forgotten for a time. Emptiness, meaningless.

"Nii-san", Sasuke spoke out into the cold air. "The sky is clearing, make it rain again."

He turned his face upwards again, and the wind swept through his hair, made the tears in his eyes fall down on his cheeks, slowly.

I will always be waiting for the rain to fall, for when it does, I know you will be there.

Nii-san.

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Thank you for reading!  
Playlist: "Good Enough" by Evanescence  
Please review and tell me what you think!


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